ALLI'S CORNER

I lived in a small town for a while, Carterville Illinois. I think there were about 2,300 people in Carterville back then. It was a darling little town with shops lined up on Main Street and a High School that had bonfires and packed stands on Football Friday nights. Our family of five lived in a two-bedroom apartment above the barber shop.  I’d sit at the big picture window for hours and watch the slow groove of Carterville with it's one traffic signal which seemed to only blink yellow off-and-on all day and night. I could see the Library which was pretty grand for such a small town, the fire station and a little clothing store on Main Street (curiously named "Hookers" ). It didn't take long before the place started to tug on my heart like nowhere else had and I felt myself getting attached. 

After about a year in, Dad told me we were moving, My dramatic 8th grade-self flung my blanket and pillow in my bedroom closet and stayed there until my father dragged me out and handed me an empty suitcase.

Well that was much more than I wanted to say when I started this - but I do have a point - thanks for waiting me out.

I guess what I am trying to say is, other than Carterville, I have never lived anywhere except this old trailer park (and please don't get upset that I call it that - for me it's an endearing term, not a put down) where we stop at least five times between our home and the gate to visit with people whose names we know. Where we are excited to see our winter visitors return because we know things around here are going to be more fun now that they’re back.

Many of you hail from the Midwest and have spent years in small towns like Carterville where people are nicer— and I seek forgiveness from city dwellers, but Midwesterners tend to be kinder than the rest of us..there, I said it. They left the snow behind and brought all the qualities that made me fall in love with the people of Carterville: friendliness, a readiness to help, and most importantly, you folks know how to cook!

Why do you think we don’t start having potlucks until you guys show up?

I'm cranky,  It's fiveinthemorning and my cat won't shut up and the guy next door  is making a bunch of noise that sounds like it's right outside of my window, and given the circumstances, it wouldn't surprise me if that is exactly where he is.

Yes, you're right.  I should not use my "status" as one of the publishers of this website to air my personal greviences or malign my neighbors and I'll probably take this down before the three of you that read it...read it, but I did warn you that I'm cranky and that alone should probably have you hitting the back button. But if you're still here I'll explain what is really bugging me and boils down to one delicious word, "decorum".

According to the Cambridge dictionary the word is defined as " behavior that is controlled, calm, and polite: "

And yes, I understand that this fiveinthemorning rant of mine may lack exactly what I am espousing for others, but I am, at this moment, perfectly okay with that. In closing, because it's always a good idea to give an example I will leave you with this although I didn't write it: "Just slipping into another time when people wore gloves and hats, and there was this sense of decorum and social echelons, was quite interesting".

—Ramin Zahed, Los Angeles Times, 12 Aug. 2024 

Listen, I can swear like a sailor and tell a dirty joke without remorse so I am no poster child for decorum, but there is a time and a place and we are all old enough to know when to just stop talking, or in this case, typing,

  (a blog post from about 10 years ago)

Several months ago I signed up to attend monthly meetings organized by the MS Society.  I've been getting phone calls and emails about the meetings constantly, but blew it off for one reason or another.  Today, I decided to show up. 

About a dozen "MSers" sat around a long table drinking coffee. The group consisted mostly of older women, a few middle aged men, some with canes and walkers, another in a wheelchair. One gentleman rode in on a bicycle which made me smile.  A few came with their caregivers, another with a service dog.

 We were invited to talk a little about any trips we took this summer, or trips we were planning.  I talked about my wonderful week at my friends Alpaca ranch in Idaho, It was much more than anything the others had done over the summer, a fondly remembered day trip to a casino for a woman in a wheelchair, a few days in the pines for another member.

Carlos sat across from me.  Young and seemingly healthy in a tank top which showed off his tattoos, I liked him immediately. He was quiet, self-effacing, confident. He began to speak.  Carlos is a Marine. He and his cousin joined and got through the rigors of boot camp together.  Carlos said that, at first, boot camp was difficult on a psychological level, but the physical part was not too tough for him.  He and his cousin graduated and went on to Infantry School where hiking miles on end with sixty pound backpacks was a daily activity. Carlos began to fall behind.  He felt a little weak and couldn't keep up with the cousin he had competed with his entire life.  He thought he was just tired, missing his family, maybe a little depressed. But still, he fell further behind the rest of his class with each day. He was sent to see a doctor.  Before his 20th birthday, Carlos was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. He now makes pizza and dreams of making enough money to move out of his parent’s home 

Carlos, younger than anyone else in that room by decades told his story without a whisper of the self-pity and anger that crept into my thoughts more often as time went on - and I had let them come, never once thinking that I should be fighting them back. It  never occured to me that I could be better than that...

until I met Carlos.

It's been a week.  Thank you to all who took the time to nominate yourself or others to be part of the Association Board.  The election is still in the works and despite some mistakes I made in the process, things went pretty well. Just this once, I think I can speak for the Board when I say we appreciate your patience and interest in the process.  Looks like I'll continue as Secretary and that's okay.  I often need to be pushed to participate so, all in all, it's good for me to have commitments. 'Nuff about that.  Let's talk about something much more interesting.  YOU.

After talking to some residents it sounds like the Park's demographics are rapidly changing from retirees to folks who are still employed. This new demographic is interesting to me and I think we need to do some thinking about how to appeal to them while keeping the things that are working. What can we offer that would entice them to join in? Starting  event times a  little later was suggested at the  Association meeting and I think that is a very good place to begin.  What is important now is the Association taking a good hard look at changing to fit the needs of the residents and working quickly to figure this out. That means we need to stop doing the things that are not working and find new ways to engage  as many of you as we can. The upcoming Yard Sale was a wake-up call that should not be ignored. After we (the Board) cancelled it, a resident went door to door to find out what you want - and then she made it happen while we threw our hands in the air on the basis of the lack of participation in  past few yard sales. When presented with enthusiasm by a new voice with a clear vision the idea was embraced.  Lesson learned  - no suggestion from a resident should be  ignored  due to the fact that it may be out of the comfort zone of those of us making the decisions. Doing the same old because that's the way it's always been done needs to stop. We are listening to you and hope to hear more. 

The Desertscape two-year facelift will no doubt leave some scars. I hope that you are not so angry that it will keep you away from participating in the things you once enjoyed and  from trying things that will be new and unfamiliar. The Board has quite a job ahead as we attempt to find a way to mesh the tried and true with new ideas while letting go of what no longer works.  I'm excited to watch a football game with my neighbors on a 100 inch TV, to learn how to play bocci ball and maybe even shoot a little pool.  I hope that no matter how angry you are about the lack of amenities, you have begun to feel the same way. 

There is this saying that has always been important to me and I think it may fit here... "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."   I was mad when this all started too, but all it did was make me an angry person and, for my own well-being, that had to stop.

So, maybe  it's okay to move on and start to get just a little bit excited about what lies ahead.  I hope you do.  

Elected, elected

Respected, selected

Call collected

I wanna be elected

Alice Cooper, "Elected"

I should probably wait to write this until I’m in a better mood. 

I hope you will make the time to vote. If you want to nominate someone it’s not too late. You can offer an oral nomination at next Saturday’s Association meeting or fill out a nomination form at the office.

I am on the Board. It’s a good group of individuals. I think the residents here are happy with the things that the Association does – breakfast, potluck, Christmas dinner, etc. At least the residents who show up seem happy to be there. It’s pointless trying to drag the rest of you to join in – and personally, I don’t see the need to keep trying to kumbaya any of you about how great it would be if you would just try coming to (fill in the blank). The joiners will find their people, and those who want to be left alone should be respected. I will add that you may be disappointed if you get elected to the Board and come in with a bunch of new ideas – the Association is pretty comfortable with how things are… If you get shut down, don’t take it personally. It is what it is. 

If you become a Board member, you will work your tail off at times. If you thrive on that, if you have the energy and want that great feeling of accomplishment that comes at the end of a busy night serving your community you will (mostly) love it. The volunteers outside of the Board who pitch in are lifesavers, so if that’s your thing – thank you. We couldn’t’ do it without you. 

I’ve liked being on the Board but cannot fulfill all of the obligations that are needed. Board members are expected to go to every event, which is not unfair, but a deal-breaker for me. As Secretary all I had to do is take notes about what’s in the works at the Board meetings, type them up, and email them to other Board members before the next meeting. A few hours at most. You need to own a computer and be somewhat competent using it and that’s about it. I am not going to be Secretary again and I encourage you to run. The meetings are interesting and kinda fun and it gets you out for a few hours. Plus, Mary McDougale makes her famous coffee and that alone makes it worth it. 

Just don’t let this place become your life. That’s all the advice I can offer. 

Well that and vote.

And wear comfortable shoes for events. 

By Allison Hawley

I’ve had some casual conversations over the past few weeks with a handful of residents who for the most part have been around here for a while.

There is a common thread to these impromptu chats, and I enjoy listening to the stories they tell as they wax nostalgic about the earlier days of Desertscape (nee Royal Palm). The word I hear over and over is fun. That it was just “more fun back then”.

Maybe it was just a moment in time, maybe a bunch of like-minded neighbors who had some stuff in common happened to find each other and clicked. That kind of kismet is rare, almost too much to hope for. It’s magic. But there is a part of me that can’t stop thinking that maybe if the atmosphere is just right and you’re doing something you love because the people that organize things listened to you, maybe that magic could happen again.

Is it music or outdoor games you want? Dancing? Maybe getting together and ordering some pizza to spend the afternoon watching football games? A fire to sit around and share your stories of raising kids, your careers or grandkids or making that huge decision to move to Arizona? That alone is such a shared experience among us and those stories are gold. Is alcohol a piece of the puzzle that leads us to opening up and developing a true comradery with our neighbors? We have so much in common that this should be easy and some of you have found it, while others have not. And that’s the way it will always be for a good percentage of folks – not everyone is social and that’s okay too.

I don’t know that the Association or Cobblestone can make this happen, but I think they know that it’s missing as they continue to try to lure you out of your homes with free this-and-that in hopes you’ll have fun. So far, that plan has not been a huge success, though it was nice to see some participation. I am not blaming them. They tried, but overall, I’m not sure “fun” was the result.

Not having our amenities hasn’t helped, but I don’t want to put a lot of time and effort into that. Yes, it’s been a pain in the butt…we all agree on that. But let’s say that WAALAA, it’s January 1st and the doors to the Clubhouse, Cardroom Laundry Room and pool are open for business. We have Breakfast in the Park, Potluck, Bingo, Karaoke and some random events planned like the Penny Sale and a Wine and Cheese party. The sports courts are operational as is the BBQ area.

Lot’s to do. 

All good events worth attending.  But, after two long hot years, two rent increases and two managers, you must have given some thought to what it is you’re missing, be it Bingo or billiards or just a cool place to sit for Coffee and Donuts. Or maybe it’s something else, something new. 

So, what I ask you today is this: How can those of us who organize events help those of you who want to have fun – have it?  What kind of atmosphere would lead you to introduce yourself to a new face or grab a second piece of pie and linger for a few more minutes? Does opening yourself up to the possibility of finding a friend in that room full of people scare the heck out of you? 

For those of us who sort of want to participate but end up avoiding events, I think it’s worth another try. I believe  It’s more about finding where you fit , finding that one group whose faces light up when they see you come through the door. You may need to search, try  few on for size, but you’ll find your people. 

In the meantime, share your ideas. Tell us what you’d like to do. What sounds like FUN to you? I promise you’re suggestions will not be ignored.

By: Allison Hawley

Ninety-two.

The number of days until the next Presidential election.  

Thankfully, political signs are not allowed in the Park at this time, although I got a kick out of "C" Street signage last time around with the giant signs spouting "TRUMP" "BIDEN" up and down the street. 

How someone votes can change the way we feel about them.   You may have a neighbor you liked and were friendly with and all of a sudden they hang a giant sign with the name of the stinker you detest on it and...NOW WHAT?  Take  a step back. Think about all of the things that you like about this person.  Understand that we live in a Democracy and take a moment to remind yourself that arguing with anyone with differing views is not going to make them suddenly leap to your side.  

This is a reminder to myself more than a lecture on how to be a good neighbor during tumultuous times.  I often fail to leave that meme someone posted on Facebook alone or stop myself from "correcting" wrong information on political posts. At the end of the day we will get a new President and whether our pick wins or loses, we can not let it  divide our community or our country.

Friendships are too important to risk. Life will go on and we'll be okay no matter which way things end up.

I

By: Allison Hawley

If you have not heard, come November, we will have six of seven spots open on the Desertscape Association Board. At this point, getting those seats filled looks dismal.

 Without an Association, we may lose:

Bingo

Holiday Dinners

Breakfast in the Park

Yard Sales

Potluck Dinners

...and the list goes on.

Cobblestone seems willing to fill some of those gaps with events like a BBQ and Food Trucks, but I doubt they will be here on a Saturday morning making pancakes.

I was reticent to be a Board member, so I get it. But for me, staying busy and feeling like I am contributing to something is necessary for my own well being. I am choosing to leave the Association Board as I've bitten off a bit more than I can chew and need to dial back. Our Association works well together. We are lucky that it's a good group with very little drama and folks who are willing to pitch in whenever necessary. And that is what it takes.

It doesn’t have to take over your life, but it is work and I hope those of you who enjoy the events we host have seen that we care about the people here and want to find affordable opportunities for all of you to get out and socialize.

I am hoping some of you give this some thought. Ask any member, we will be honest about what it entails, the good and the bad. The good, for me, has been getting to know more of you, feeling like I am a part of something that gives the residents a place to go, a good meal, some fellowship. I urge you to consider finding your own way to contribute to where we live.

When everyone pitches in, the load is so much lighter.

If you have questions, just ask any board member. We will be happy to spend some time answering your concerns.

-Allison

By: Allison Hawley

Seeing the posts on Facebook from residents looking for a place to swim, I remembered meeting some friends at The Clarendon and spending the day there on a pool pass a few years ago. I checked with The Clarendon Hotel and they verified they still offer the passes at $10 each. The person I spoke to said to buy passes at the Hotel front desk and  avoid the website “resortpass.com” where prices are higher.

So, of course I went directly to resortpass.com  just to see how many hotels and resorts in the Valley are offering pool passes. The website shows page after page of hotels and resorts ranging from very nice to downright bougie.  Passes on the site start as low as  $1.00, most are in the $20-40 range and a few like The Princess are hundreds of dollars. The hotels are undoubtedly banking on you spending some money on food and drink as they don’t allow pool passers to bring in coolers or food. But hey, no one says you can’t leave an ice chest in the car, right? 

Some of the places listed have full water parks and offer cabanas for rent. Many seem to be charging for a “pool chair.” I’m not sure what that means, but The Clarendon does not charge a fee for a chair and I’d probably call to ask before going anywhere that does. Do call the hotel anyway before you book as there’s a good chance prices are lower if you buy the passes through them.

I know it’s not something any of us are going to do on a regular basis, but I’d probably treat myself to hanging poolside at one of the local spots once or twice a summer and maybe taking the grand kids to one of the resorts with a water park which is probably cheaper than going to an actual water park.

Happy swimming all, whether it’s at a fancy resort or a sister property. I’ve heard Jade Stone on Olive is very nice and the folks there are welcoming. Plus it’s free! 

Desertscape.life(this link should take you right to the Resident Referrals page)  has the information about Jade Stone in the “Neighbor to Neighbor” tab under “Resident Referrals. Just below that post is a link to find City of Phoenix pools.

"Self-pity is our own worst enemy, and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world."

-Helen Keller

"Extremism in the face of liberty is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue."

-Barry Goldwater

“Service without humility is selfishness

and egotism.”

-Mahatma Ghandi

"Words are flowing out
Like endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
Are drifting through my open mind
Possessing and caressing me” 

-Across the Universe' John Lennon

"Who care if me eat carrot or collard greens? Me also like broccoli and lettuce and lima beans. Me still Cookie Monster. That not a sham."

-Cookie Monster

Despite my negativity, the Grand Opening happened last night and it was pretty darn impressive.  The place looked really good - warm and inviting, modern but comfortable. Gail and Michael D did a great job with the holiday decor and there was even an area outside for the perfect fall photo-op, Good food with generous portions and good company. Lots of great prizes.

Hats off to the organizers who worked their tushies off to get this put together with very little notice, We owe them all big thank you, along with our great crew of volunteers who looked spiffy in their blue aprons.

With much to look forward to, it feels like the negativity has lifted. A comment was made last night that there were many new faces at the event. That alone makes it a success. I had a lot of fun getting to know some people new to the park and hope to see them around at upcoming events like The Women's Club Wine and Cheese Night on Saturday, November 30th at 6:00, a free event that's a lot of fun, The Christmas Dinner on December 18th, The Cookie Decorating Party and Breakfast in the Park, both on Dec, 7th and the Women's Club Bake Sale, Potluck and more. Be sure to check your calendars for dates and times - except for BINGO,  I made a mistake there - BINGO is on Thursday nights at 6:00 (NOT Wednesday). Be sure to get there early and be seated and ready for the first game at 6:00.

Monthly calendars are published on Desertscape.life